Lemon and sage lotion

I got this awesome Bliss Lemon + Sage Body Butter as a free sample at the W Hotel at last year’s BlogHer conference in Chicago. Oh man. It’s posh.

Creamy but light. It doesn’t feel greasy and yet I am all soft and lotioned.

It smells like a lemon sweet tart, a little bit fizzy and sharp smelling. Lemon things are great but sometimes suffer from reminding you of dish soap or something you might spray to get over the smell of cat pee. This lemony lotion is more like a delicious and savory candy. It makes me want to start gnawing on my own arm, it smells so yummy.

Go down the slippery, lotiony slope, starting with a tiny size:

Then when you’re hooked, like I am, order the giant expensive bottle. I gotta get one and keep it at work. There are no bathtubs at work in my cubicle, which is grey and sad and bathless. BUT LO, THERE IS LOTION.

For a bath diva there are few things worse than buying expensive fancy-ass stuff made from rare plankton and the placentas of wombats, and then opening it only to go “What the hell is this grease?” Bliss lotion is not like that. It’s actually fancy in a satisfying way. In short, it’s worth it.

This lotion from Bliss gets an extra point for snarky hipster packaging. On the bottle in tiny print it says:

Instructions for use: After showering, apply generously onto any skin that an optically challenged individual might mistake for the bark on the trunk of an ancient redwood tree.

Oh Bliss. You are soooo cutesy.

I have a Thing for tiny travel size bath products that you get “free” from hotels. In fact I have no shame and will happily stuff all the little bottles into my suitcase so that the cleaning people will restock soap and shampoo and lotion and shower caps every day. Hotels rock! Anyway, whatever genius at the W Hotel charged me 50 bucks extra for my hotel room and then gave me a bottle of lemony lotion succeeded in their little marketing plan since I am now buying myself a new bottle of the stuff, plus, when I use the lotion, I think of the nice time I had in their annoyingly hip, fancy hotel drinking beer and ordering room service, taking messy long hot baths at 3am, and not having to clean up after anyone, feeling for 2 days like a jet setting conference going woman of the world.