My Celebrity Fantasy Bath with Robert Downey, Jr.

It’s time for a fantasy celebrity bath! Yes, here is Robert Downey, Jr. in my imagination, just before he gets naked.

Yes! Robert Downey naked! In my bathtub! On my blog! But only in my fantasy.

He would whip off his sunglasses. He would look rakish. I would shyly clutch the gleaming bubble bath to my heaving breasts. He’d get into the tub gracefully without stepping on me, because he’s fucking IRON MAN. I’d be all like “Oh, Bob, let me soap up your manly chest hairs with this tingly Dr. Bronners”.

Then he’d be all like “My darling Whore of Bath! SHAVE ME!”

“No! Bob! I can’t shave you! You’re SO HAIRY!”

“Oh Whore of Bath! Use your Magic Bath-Fu!”

“Okay Bob how about I whip out this Prince Triple Orange Blossom Shaving Cream by LUSH and carefully, delicately, shave every hair off your muscley, comic-book-heroish-yet-engineeringly-geeky body!”

*fade to flickering candlelight*

Then he would dry us off and we would both don our fantastic Iron Man and Iron Woman suits and fly off and go and blow shit up in huge explosions IN SPACE.